Izzati, i think you should take a day off today.
flash back 3 months,
A patient was transferred to my ward from HDW then subacute ward(admitted in july 2015). Severe sepsis, complicated with huge cerebral infarct, oxygen dependent trachymask. Thats 'normal'.She was accompanied by her 80 years old husband.
That was the start of our long relationship.
After reviewing the patient for the first time, my houseman approached me,
''Dr izzati, tau tak, pak cik tu tak makan pun. Kadang-kadang kalau lapar, dia makan magi saja. Dia tinggal dekat hostel dekat hospital, sebab tak nak susahkan anak ulang-alik hantar dia. Saya tak pernah nampak anak dia datang''
Ok..lets give them a few days, maybe they'll come and visit. Lets see if uncle really not eating. Lets see if he will go back home, take turn to take care of aunty.
True enough,he didnt eat.
I setup a 'tabung makanan', so that those who went to canteen can buy extra food for him, they can later take money from tabung to make sure that people don't feel burdened. Started with rm4 and I left the money jar on staff nurse counter, by the end of 5pm that day, we collected almost rm90 few days later, hundreds. Everyone from doctors, nurses, sisters, cleaner,were eager to help. Blessed them.
We bought food for him. Sometimes the food spoilt as he only ate at night time. He was so reluctant to accept free food. He even bought a few nasi ayam for the staff with whatever few money he have, as payback.
He, the 80 years old uncle, never left her side. His back looks like they will break anytime despite lumbar brace given by k.ida.
One day, my consultant insist on uncle to be sent to clinic and to be reviewed by me as he suspected career stress. Thou i tried to push the case to my colleague, God have greater plan, i ended up reviewing him.
'Pakcik ok? etc etc etc (I'm pretty good at digging deep emotion heh)
1 hour later...
Pakcik cried,
I cried (snot and all)
My clinic nurse cried.
''pak cik tak makan sebab pakcik kesian dekat makcik. nanti makcik kau nampak, makcik teringin. kalau pakcik keluar bilik kejap, nanti makcik tanya kalau pakcik pergi makan, pakcik tak sanggup. kesian''
''Pak cik dah belajar cara jaga makcik. tapi kalau nak tukar pampers, rasa tulang nak patah dua''
''Pakcik tau, pakcik tak kuat kadang-kadang tak sanggup, tapi siapa nak jaga makcik? sapa nak buat semua ni?..''
''anak?...tak pa lah depa tu, depa ada keluarga sendiri. Kadang-kadang depa bagi duit''
''Pakcik susah payah dengan makcik dari dulu lagi. Hidup memang susah, tapi makcik buat sama-sama. Duit tak cukup nak bagi sekolah, kami tanam sayur keliling rumah, jual kuih sikit-sikit''
This 80 years old husband, for the past 6 months
Have been sleeping on the hard chair,
Hardly eat daily
Recycling the same 3 shirts
swallowing the back pain to position his wife, change her diapers,
Even went to settle social welfare by public bus.
He was too scared to ask help from his children.
Scared to be nagged, scared he'll be a burden.
So he did everything on his own and with help of nurses.
His son? God knows where, doing what.
''Fzul, since we're not using this duit tabung for his food, can you help by buying him some t-shirt for a change?'' Pakcik was very thankful for the blue and grey t-shirt. Even wore it quite frequently.
And suddenly, today, the wife heart stop beating.
Im sure pakcik heart pause for awhile then.
He's alone now and deeply crushed.
Death pronounced.
3 hours later, a lady with pretty white kebaya came( I later found out that she's the daughter in law). 30 minutes later, the overseas educated son arrived. My 2nd time meeting him throughout her whole admission...
She've left us. Uncle,for sure have done his best, loving her unconditionally. Inshallah May Allah grant him the highest Jannah.
But the children? I was too mad, too emotional on behalf of their mother and father to face them.
A mother/father can take care of 10 children. but there's no guarantee that the children can take care of the parents. It's a sad sad world we live in.
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